Mhm.

It's been awhile huh?
I guess I didn't feel like writing all these months... I'm beginning to learn to talk to my friends or just cry to let the crap go out instead of writing here.
I've been fine, not amazing but just fine.
I'm still not over the boy I was dating and that still bugs me but oh well life goes on... I swear I try to let go but it's just so hard, I keep dreaming about him and I still relate everything I do or say to him, 'he used to like that' 'he used to say that' 'he used to hate that' man I need to stop it already.
I'm feeling kinda lost to be honest, summer is over school started a month ago,
life seems so boring to me... not that I complain about my life because I know there are people who have a horrible life, but it's just boring. I need some inspiration, some new fresh things, it's time to move on.
From now on I'll be a little bit mischievous and have fun.
Yeah that's it.

To do list:
-be a little bit mischievous and have fun
-let my hair grow and not dye it until its long enough
-buy new clothes (yeah I guess this is only a plus haha but I want it)

xx

New years resolution...

"Don't feel guilty for things you didn't even do, and if you did mistakes just move on, people forgive and they also make mistakes"

please 2012 be good to me?

Apparently

life is always ups and downs, you can't just be in the middle
or you're enjoying it to the fullest
or you're depressed and feel down for many reasons.

fuck that shit.

Patient.

Some people are sensitive, others are strong, some people need help, others just need a good friend.
I'm at this point that I don't know what to do, I'm tired of hearing that I don't know anything, that I'm just a kid and that I should shut the fuck up, I mean seriously?
I'm 20 for Christ sake and I'm surely not stupid, I KNOW what the fuck is going on and I know when I'm wrong... but you should know when you're wrong too... you're not a rational person and that bugs me because I can't with irrational people... I just can't.
I get worried I don't sleep well and no one gives a fuck.
no really, you don't give a fuck.
you should probably weigh up your words and think it twice before saying something hurtful.

Annoyed.

Im not quite sure if they're just trying to hard to help me or they really feel that way about me.

I mean let's be honest... everyone thinks Im a mess, that I can't do anything on my own, that everytime I say I'll do something its just words and not acts.
It just bugs me the fact that everyone feels free to judge me because I dropped out from what I was studying... I didn't like it that's all, it doesn't mean I won't keep studying.

Im gonna fucking show everyone they're wrong about me, that they think they know me but they have no idea. Im gonna do things for myself and feel better as a person, this year has helped me with that, I've grown so much, I've seen so much, I've learned so much that I feel ready to the next step and start doing things for myself.

xx

I know

but I just miss you more than ever
I'm scared
Yes...
scared of letting you all alone
you know,
people who stay alone for too long
think too much
and over thinking is bad
everything in excess is bad.

I just wish this ends soon
please?

I miss you.

I really do.